The following was crafted for me by a friend when I was investigating launching a website dedicated to the color orange (I obviously never got that project off the ground):
A Brilliance of orange, carefully coiled in a store. Yes, the handy-dandy extension cord. At first glance it might not appear to be sexy (unless you are of a particular social set and you know who you are) yet you are lured by that solid, re-assuring shade of happy. You must purchase it. You neeeeeeeed it. Okay so you have about five extension chords by now, because your little fetish has gotten out of hand. The phrase, “all things orange†lurks in your sub-conscious. You are weak. You give in. Your wallet may be lighter when you leave, but somehow, the world seems calmer. You may be able to plug in all sorts of extra things from a distance. (Christmas lights, power tools, your brother in-laws trailer.)
But you have one sassy piece of orange.
Continued reading >
Wednesday, May 31st, 2006
A poem from highschool - circa 1995
Rip Van Ouch
It Was Dark;
The Pavement Was Darker.
The Concrete Stung,
As My Face Brushed Against its
Cold Heartless Surface.
It Stunk
“Ouch” I Said.
“That Hurt” I Replied.
I Skated Home Swiftly,
And My Face Erupted with
Bloody Bits of Gunk.
It Stunk More.
Sunday, December 18th, 2005
del.icio.us is down for emergency maintenance and digg is simply returning a blank page. Not related incidents, but funny anyway.
Oh Kirby, You came to my door this week saying that you will clean one carpet in my house and all I have to do is spread the good word about Kirby. I asked you to make sure that you wouldn’t try and sell me a vacuum, and you quickly responded that you wouldn’t wish that on anybody, “these things are expensive”.
So you and your associates showed up at the scheduled time and because you had reinforcements (read: two additional associates along with the original contact) I asked you again “And you’re not going to try and sell this to me, correct?” The leader of the three said, “of course we are”. So I told you “I don’t have time for a sales pitch, and I can’t afford your vacuum.” The third chimed in something about money and I cut him off: “I’m not financing a vacuum cleaner”.
The leader then said the free carpet cleaning speaks for itself, and I replied that his associate spoke for herself when she lied to get in my door. They were not hesitant when I asked them to leave.
Tuesday, April 26th, 2005
We occasionally buy this organic (usda certified) apple juice from albertsons.
I noticed tonight however the printed text on the front of the bottle:
Organic concentrate from Turkey? Google doesn’t know much about it…